Gotham Season Two: Episode 7
December 18, 2015
Filed under Reviews
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The title is promising. I hope we see Penguin hulk out and go Super Penguin. Surprisingly Penguin’s mom actually WAS at the warehouse he said she was at, but it’s still a trap. You know, I get that Butch wasn’t exactly Penguin’s friend, but I still feel like they had a certain comradery to them. Yeah, Butch was his slave and Penguin killed Butch’s best friend, but I can’t help but like their relationship. So it’s sad that Butch turned against Penguin in his time of need. OH MY GOD THEY KILLED PENGUIN’S MOM?! Yes, that is really sad since she was the only person in the world he liked, but I can’t help but be excited at how he’s going to react to this.
Riddler is very interesting. He’s basically a one-man rendition of the Hangover. It’s really cool that he was his own first victim, which is something I didn’t see coming. But it’s a cool way of explaining his rise. It’s weird how there are all these villains who are getting pretty close to being villains but Bruce is still, like, a decade away from being Batman. In fact, he’s about 18 years as far as I can tell. And Maroni, Falcone and Loeb are all dead already, even though I think they factor into the Batman storyline on occasion. It’s really strange how this show works, but I’m sure it’ll make sense in the end.
Why are all the girls (other than Lee) on this show the exact same archetype? Manipulative, seductive, cocky, crazy. It’s so annoying. Selina, Barbara, Firefly, Galavant’s cousin, Galavant’s niece… Though I have to admit if you want me to like Selina, introducing a more cocky, annoying and unlikable version of Selina is a pretty good way to do it. It’s stupid because the writing quality drops a noticeable amount when one of those characters is on screen. Their dialogue is so horrible it’s like pouring oil in a glass of water. It doesn’t seem like these characters are written by the same people who write the rest of the show.
Harvey’s back! As in Dent, not Gordon’s partner Harvey who’s been here for a while. I miss that dude, but I doubt he’ll be appearing much in the show. But, we have Gordon and Harvey (as in, Gordon’s partner) shooting big guns at Zsasz and his group of gun-toting Matrix Cenobites, so that’s awesome.
It’s funny that Gordon is able to figure out Galavant is evil by sitting down and thinking about how stupid his plan is. He’s seriously just like ‘Wow, so Galavant showed up surrounded by the biggest string of coincidences in Gotham history, all of which are perfectly situated to make him mayor. Funny’. When someone says it out loud you realize that his plan is amazingly terrible. It relies on nobody noticing that a dude showed up out of nowhere, became a hero in about a month, just in time for the mayoral election, which involved all his competition but him getting personally killed by a competent, well-known crime boss who benefits in no noticeable way from their deaths. Basically, he tried to backload years of trust-building and publicity into about one week as opposed to staging a Count of Monte Cristo-style scheme that would span years. And given his hatred for the Waynes, it seems like he’d be willing to do that. Galavant is basically doing his best to be the most cliche ‘inspiring leader’ ever. He’s built his entire persona around what lets him say powerful, driving metaphors and give rousing speeches, without being terribly charismatic himself. If he at least had a gang of people working for him I could be like ‘Ok, at least he’s got some hired muscle’ but all he has is his cousin and a flaky blonde who wanders around his creep apartment. That’s not exactly a force to be reckoned with.
OH MY GOD PENGUIN HIRES AN ARMY OF PEOPLE DRESSED AS HIMSELF, COMPLETE WITH MONKEY SUIT, GOOFY HAIR AND LIMP TO INVADE THE ELECTION CELEBRATION!
It was basically this, but with shotguns
Only in this show would something like that happen. I don’t even know where he got that many people of his body type, I just wish one of them had been black. And the guy who kills him is just like ‘I killed black Penguin!”. Holy crap this show is awesome! Anyway… where was I? Right.
My problem with Galavant and his cousin and their entire organization for that matter is that they’re all hopelessly stupid, incompetent and completely full of themselves. As in, there’s not a doubt in their mind that they will succeed despite being burdened by total incompetence and there’s no reason for them to think otherwise because they never fail DESPITE SUCKING. His cousin for some reason uses a whip, a weapon so unorthodox it can only be wielded by an utter moron (or Indiana Jones). At least a flamethrower can kill people gruesomely and is overall intimidating. The only reason you use a whip is if you have dangerously low self esteem. Indiana Jones used a whip because it meant something to him. It’s like his hat. He doesn’t wear it because he thinks it looks good, he wears it because it’s important to him. Galavant’s cousin is just like ‘I’m gonna use a whip because I’m so cool’.
They’re trying so desperately to make her this femme fatale character without realizing that femme fatales are usually EFFICIENT. Black Widow doesn’t use a whip because that would be dumb. Catwoman only uses a whip because she doesn’t intend on killing people. You can’t have it both ways where you’re saying ‘I’m gonna kill people… with a whip’. That’s stupid and slow and really messed up. And I know this is the second time in a row I’ve harped on a female villain for her stupid weapon choice and I get that this show is kind of weird but it really bothers me because these characters are terrible. The villain in season one was mostly the corrupt police commissioner and while he could be cartoonishly unlikable at points, we knew he could have people erased if he wanted. The only thing keeping Gordon from death was knowledge of the commissioner’s daughter and that added tension. Galavant is just some guy with possibly a lot of money, played by an unintimidating actor whose army is a few stooges who are extremely lucky.
It’s deeply confusing, because the last season was over 20 episodes and has a lot of stuff happen, but here the main villain this season can’t possibly last many more episodes and we’re not even half way through the season! Galavant has the most powerful crime boss in Gotham, the best police officer in Gotham and the most powerful and rich company in Gotham as enemies and so far all he has is a sniper rifle and a whip! He seems to think that just by virtue of being the mayor he’s invincible and though I’m sure he’ll have security covering every inch of his person at all times, he can’t possibly believe that that will keep him safe entirely. Need I remind you, a similarly corrupt mayor was easily kidnapped by some dude and his idiot cousin with a whip. I can’t think of their names right now, probably because they suck. And Penguin has an army and, more importantly, ZSASZ.
He’s basically pin-less Pinhead
I’m pretty sure he could find a way to kidnap you. It doesn’t help that the GCPD are the primary guards of the mayor and by revealing yourself to be completely evil to one of their most influential members you add the solid risk of your army of bodyguards simply not showing up when you need them. Yeah, Gordon isn’t that type of guy, but I’m sure they can figure something out. Overall, this episode had amazing moments, but it’s really beginning to grate on me just how incompetent Galavant is and that’s really hurting the show.